What Your Healing Journey Teaches Your Kids

As a parent with multiple kids, I’m constantly reminded that my kids watch me grow and evolve. Each child gets a slightly different version of mommy. My prayer is that none of them feel the other got more of me than they did. As I sat and talked with my oldest today, I could see some of the habits they learned from me when I was in a space less healed than I am today. The wall they learned to put up when they get hurt. The way they can shut out the world. The refusal to ask for help, even when they know they need it. My baby learned these traits from me, but I’ve also grown and changed since then. During this healing evolution, I’m seeing the mom my oldest had was still young and had a lot to learn. Still nursing wounds and trying to navigate the world.

Through the years, I’ve grown and done a lot of healing work. I’m still on a healing journey. And I’m trying to change some of the things my kids have learned from me. It doesn’t mean I’m responsible for ALL of the habits they learned, and it doesn’t mean they won’t have their own work to do, but it does mean if there are lessons I can course-correct, I want to be able to.

My younger children have the more evolved version of mommy. While I felt bad about that, over the last few days, I’ve come to the realization that it truly is okay. My younger ones will have some lessons that my older ones don’t, and my older ones will have some lessons my younger ones don’t. Part of their journey as siblings is to help and teach each other. What one may be strong in, they can offer to the others to help. Where one may need help, the others can pour in to them. My prayer is they not only be siblings, but they also be friends.

So as I evolve, and I continue to pour into each one of them something different, as well as some of the same things, I can only trust that everything I’ve instilled in them so far, be exactly what they need for their own journeys. And whatever they aren’t already equipped with, they know how to find. I believe in my kids, and I also know that my shortcomings as a mother, as a human, won’t limit their potential. I believe they’re amazing and have the potential to change the world for the better. I pray I get the opportunity to see them continue to shine so brightly. As I’m learning in my own healing journey and evolution, they’re also teaching me lessons I never imagined I would need.