Once in a blue moon, we stumble upon a love so profound, it echoes through lifetimes, as if our souls have been in an eternal dance. In those moments when our gazes rest on each other, the world stops turning, and we plunge into the depths of each other. It’s mesmerizing. Yet, in these fragments of life, they deliver revelations of the depths of love we’re capable of. Fragments of the extent of vulnerability we dare to embrace. And yet, we don’t stop to think, what if love isn’t enough?
My love for him was beyond words, yet love alone couldn’t bridge the gaps. I chose to let him go when I realized I was losing myself to hold on to him. Memories of our shared moments used to haunt me – his reflection in our son’s face, the echoes of love. But now, these memories are slowly dissolving into the past.
The snapshots that linger are not only the romanticized moments of love, but also of pain. Nights drowned in tears, feelings of betrayal and abandonment, and moments of despair. We were both deeply flawed, yet just as deeply in love, but carrying wounds so raw they tainted our bond. It was a love blinded by the need for healing.
Through self-reflection, conversations with girlfriends, and the guidance of a therapist, I’ve been steadily gaining clarity. The paradox of allowing ourselves to be visible during our healing is a beautiful mess of grueling and liberating, but healing happens in community. And we get to choose the witnesses to our healing journey. These women have been witnesses on my journey.
My heart, once shattered, became a mosaic of resilience. I’ve reassembled its fragments into something more beautiful, a work in progress.
This chapter of my life, though closed, leaves behind its most precious gift – our son. In him, we see the perfection of our imperfect love. As we co-parent, he remains the testament to what we did right.
Now, I wish him all the happiness he deserves, and my path is one of self-discovery and healing. This journey has taught me that love, in and of itself, is not enough. Fairy tales may sell the story of true love making everything perfect, but in reality, we demand more. Respect, consideration, communication, honesty, integrity, and more. Love must be complete, encompassing all these elements.
It’s not about abandoning ship at the first sign of trouble, but about recognizing whether the love our partners offer matches the love we need. We can’t control how our partners love, but we have the power to choose to accept that love. This is the lesson I carry forward – sometimes, love isn’t enough, and that’s a truth as profound as love itself.
Sometimes people are in our lives for a season, and to give you the lessons you need. He has been my lesson on how deeply I could love, and even more so, how I’m able to love from a space of healing. In the words of Adele, “I’m giving you up. I’m forgiving it all. You set me free.”
